Why I finally saw the waters heaving there
Alone
I’ll never know
Crashing against the rocky foundations
Of my soul
An old light house
Forgotten
Her red doors gently swinging open and closed
Flirting with me and the gentle blue breezes of her waning
tide
A battered silence weeping
From the unrelenting ways of fortitude fallen
And hope’s journey betrayed
Had I known my blood would want to run
Even boil there in the fading light of her setting sun,
To flee and be free from her pain
I might not have looked her way
Away from the sanctuary of my tired sea worthy hands
And nets full of life
But my heart held like an anchor
To bearings beyond my reach
And the ship that had brought me here
Was no longer sea born
But beached
And I knew the truth of it then
Of the empty misery that does not know us all at once
Or let us sail away
But carves our faces day by day
Into beautiful masks
Into the light houses of our fate
Watched by crows too black to have eyes
Leering from the safety of flotsam fowled trees of fallen
life
Jeering at us like a crab on its back dying
Breathlessly
My hands relaxed, my nets released
And I heard the siren songs of death and love like chains
Rattle wet against my wincing ear
And kiss me dear
As if her foundations would not crumble with my embrace
Do not close your eyes on me
She said
And it came again through the briny air
And sandy sea
Do not close your eyes on me just yet
Like the whispery voice of a lover dying in my arms
Damp with salty sweat
Her sweet stench of life and death beneath the sand
Bubbled up beneath my toes
And filled my nose with the scent of sex
And dying gods
And I tried to stand but could only plead
As crows plucked grains of sand from my soul
Like ransomed jetsom
Returning to the darkness
Of an all swallowing mother
The Father of Lights sailing away
Divorced
And no one yearning
To save me
Or the child of our unspeakable love
Oh how the darkness devoutly carries
And calls our crows away
Revelation by revelation
Into the infinitesimally small oblivions of our heavens
never found
Into the shadows lost at the font of our crashing seas
Until the brazen sand of our soul’s life is not but
reflection
And my eyes are not but thee
My unsavable love
I do not know why I saw your waters heaving there
Where I stood
Alone
Or how my soul became a light house forgotten
Anchored by my heart
To lonely nets
And empty hands
And crows
