My brothers poem

Why I finally saw the waters heaving there

Alone

I’ll never know

Crashing against the rocky foundations

Of my soul

An old light house

Forgotten

Her red doors gently swinging open and closed

Flirting with me and the gentle blue breezes of her waning tide

A battered silence weeping

From the unrelenting ways of fortitude fallen

And hope’s journey betrayed

Had I known my blood would want to run

Even boil there in the fading light of her setting sun,

To flee and be free from her pain

I might not have looked her way

Away from the sanctuary of my tired sea worthy hands

And nets full of life

But my heart held like an anchor

To bearings beyond my reach

And the ship that had brought me here

Was no longer sea born

But beached

And I knew the truth of it then

Of the empty misery that does not know us all at once

Or let us sail away

But carves our faces day by day

Into beautiful masks

Into the light houses of our fate

Watched by crows too black to have eyes

Leering from the safety of flotsam fowled trees of fallen life

Jeering at us like a crab on its back dying

Breathlessly

My hands relaxed, my nets released

And I heard the siren songs of death and love like chains

Rattle wet against my wincing ear

And kiss me dear

As if her foundations would not crumble with my embrace

Do not close your eyes on me

She said

And it came again through the briny air

And sandy sea

Do not close your eyes on me just yet

Like the whispery voice of a lover dying in my arms

Damp with salty sweat

Her sweet stench of life and death beneath the sand

Bubbled up beneath my toes

And filled my nose with the scent of sex

And dying gods

And I tried to stand but could only plead

As crows plucked grains of sand from my soul

Like ransomed jetsom

Returning to the darkness

Of an all swallowing mother

The Father of Lights sailing away

Divorced

And no one yearning

To save me

Or the child of our unspeakable love

Oh how the darkness devoutly carries

And calls our crows away

Revelation by revelation

Into the infinitesimally small oblivions of our heavens never found

Into the shadows lost at the font of our crashing seas

Until the brazen sand of our soul’s life is not but reflection

And my eyes are not but thee

My unsavable love

I do not know why I saw your waters heaving there

Where I stood

Alone

Or how my soul became a light house forgotten

Anchored by my heart

To lonely nets

And empty hands

And crows